The Triumvirate

We were led to chose Shanghai by a waiter at a local Chinese restaurant, a college student named Max, whom we got to know because of our love of Lu Lu's Seafood in St. Louis. Max would wait on us and make small talk. After about a year of conversations with Max, he was telling us about his extended family in Shanghai. He learned that our then eight and six year old daughters were taking Chinese lessons, and he told us how, if we ever came to Shanghai his mother would welcome our children into her home "as her own"--and it we came to realize it wasn't a false offer; Max meant it. He was moving back to Shanghai in a matter of months, and when he learned we were considering moving to China he offered to help us in any way he could, once there. We got the feeling Max really meant it. He was bright and an entrepreneur in the making (studying at St. Louis University) and we told him we would take him up on his offer. (more on this: we did)

The second element was a radio interview I did for one of my books while on book tour in Denver. Off-air I mentioned to the host that we were considering moving the family to China. Her face lit up. Her daughter worked in the American consulate in Shanghai as did her husband (an executive in personal security details) -- "they would be happy to help you if you end up in Shanghai."

The idea of a pair of Americans, both in the consulate, was too tempting. We began corresponding with Liz, the radio personality's daughter, and she was a cordial and welcoming as her mother's offer. Liz began explaining to us the benefits of Shanghai (cosmopolitan, cultural, many good international schools) as well as outlining some of the hurdles it takes to gain access to China as a resident. We were seriously leaning toward Shanghai.

The final straw was an article written by an American ex-pat in Shanghai. She described her daily life, living in a lane house -- the trials and joys of Shanghai living. It was so well written, so compelling, and told of a city that could be navigated by foreigners while, at the same time, being entirely Chinese in flavor and experience.

We booked flights for a visit to Shanghai and began setting up a dozen meetings. We didn't want to be away from the kids for too long -- it would be quick: six days. In that time we would have to determine: 1) can we actually move the family to China? 2) Could I find work there to justify the trip? 3) Was there a school the girls would like? 4) Would we qualify for the appropriate residential permit and visas? 5) Was it actually something we wanted to do? Would such a trip enrich the family or stress it?

Two weeks before we were to leave, my father died after a long illness. No matter how prepared you are for such an event, you're shaken to your core by such a loss. In taking over his affairs, I soon realized I'd entered a new phase of my life, a phase for which I'd been preparing all these years. It was a watershed event, and I felt the timing for our wild trip could not be better. I was entering a new dynamic. Moving away for a year, starting fresh, seemed somehow to answer a lot of questions for me. I am a workaholic -- I work 11-14 hours a day -- I write at least some part of every day, seven days a week, and have for over twenty-five years. A trip like this seemed to offer the chance to continue writing, but take-in new stimuli, to "stop and smell the roses." My father would understand such an urge, and though not the adventurous type himself; I had been most of my adult life, and I always felt he secretly admired that in me. Shanghai was worth at least exploring.

When M and I left for Shanghai two weeks later, I was determined to try my best to make this trip happen. The moment we landed, I knew we had our work cut out for us.

The Build Up

The start of the idea of living in China was a discussion with Marcelle a few years ago. Storey, our daughter born in China, was asking questions about Kunming, the city where she'd been born, and we started toying with the idea of a family vacation there. Somehow that grew into the idea of living in China, and we started to explore if that was even possible.

During the trip to have Storey join our family we had spent nearly three weeks in China and had loved the experience. We'd taken two very long walks, unaccompanied, in Guangzhou and found a gorgeous old Colonial neighborhood that seemed very livable. The idea surfaced then: What about a year here?

Somewhere in 2007 that idea resurfaced, and this time we tackled it. We looked for how it might work -- what city would we try for, how would we arrange for the girls to go to school, housing for the family, visas, transportation back and forth for my book tours. Questions bred other questions, and answers continued to seem slippery. We would read a book or an article and then a blog would contradict it, or we'd speak to someone over there and they'd caution us about one angle or another.

And then the stars aligned: a St. Louis waiter; a Denver radio journalist, and a New York Times article. Suddenly it was Shanghai, a city we'd never considered.

More to come....

Formal Invite Arrives-R

I hope at some point to be able to go back and journal the past few months, because the run-up to today reads like a novel. But I'm pleased to report that Fudan University sent an official invitation today, for me to lecture and teach in Shanghai, and it appears that after all the ups and down, the emails, meetings, and the seven days spent in Shanghai last January, that we are now on our way. The invitation is only a first step (this because visa rules are up in the air because of the Olympics) but a necessary, and much sought after first step. I will (hopefully) meet with the university's English department in August and work out a lecture schedule.

Receiving the formal invitation is a watershed moment for the family. At last, it seems we are at least going to embark upon this journey. Where it leads from there, is anybody's guess...

The Start Of It All - R

For the past year my wife, M, and I have been preparing for something we'd discussed since courtship: a year abroad. Both Anglo- and Francophiles, I think we always thought that would mean Europe, but with the Euro being what it is, and our daughter, S, being born in China, we took a wild turn and decided to head to Shanghai, China, giving us a chance, over the year there, to visit various parts of the country and show S her homeland.

What will follow is a family record of our travels. Whoever is filing a particular report will put his (R), or her (M, P, S) initial in the title line, so you know who's "speaking."

What began as a whim of exploration--could we really pull this off?--turned into a massive amount of research, preparation and unexpected pitfalls. Slowly, M and I began to establish what was going to be necessary, and the deeper we drilled the more daunting. Unlike the EU, you don't just show up in China and set up your tent. It is a country of endless red tape and requirements. The prize was the chance to live in one of the most intriguing, exciting cities in the world. But the contest was never supposed to be easy. We embarked upon the process naively but with our eyes wide open and expecting speedbumps. We weren't to be disappointed, as it turned out. This has been one of the most challenging endeavors we could have possibly attempted. And now, less than sixty days from leaving the USA, we still don't know if, or for how long we'll be allowed to stay.

It's a work in progress. In postings to come I (R) will set up the background work it took to get us this far. I will bring you up to "real time" and then the family will board a plane on July 29th.

From there, it's anybody's guess.